It's just like riding a bike...

Like everything else in Bubba's life, things don't necessarily come easy, but with enough confidence and practice (and some accommodations and modifications), almost anything is possible.

Bubba learned to "lose the training wheels" this week after several unsuccessful and frustrating attempts (years) at home. I can't explain the smile on his face as he "launched" today, but I will tell you that I cried as he yelled "I'm doing it! I'm doing it!"

My Boys are THOSE Kinda People

They dress up and go to Renaissance Faires. Lord help me. What did I expect, their Grandma is a wench (really, she is, at the Faire).

Thankfully Aunt M is weird too, so she took them and I didn't hafta. She also made their costumes and taught them all sorts of things I now have to listen about....









More pictures here.

We've Been Busy

Bubba is "deschooling" and so is momma. We've been busy ... good days, bad days, Tartan Days, building garden days, sensory days, soccer days, lunch break days, filling garden days, experiment days, lots of days [not blogging].

Unconditional Love

There's something about a vulnerable, peaceful, trusting sleeping little boy that is just irresistible, so much so, even the kitty can't pass up snuggling with him.

Skating Through it All

This week has been particularly hard on our family, but more on that later. Today, Hubby left for another week away for mandatory work training. A friend invited us to go roller skating with her church group, and rather than sitting at home depressed over all that has and is happening, me and the boys went.

I am so glad we did. I watched Bubba fall again and again. This was maybe his second time roller skating, so no surprise there. I got out there with him and told him "Look at me, not at your feet. You can do this. YOU CAN DO THIS!" He smiled as he tried, both of us laughing as we tried to navigate around the rink, others his age whizzing by.

By the end of the session he was skating on his own. Not smoothly, but he was doing it. And he was happy as he danced robotically across the rink. He continued to fall...and he continued to get right on back up. And the neatest part was when another kid would fall down, he would be right there to help him up.

Later, when I was frustrated about something else, he said the same words I said to him..."Mom, it's OK. Don't get frustrated. YOU CAN DO THIS!"

And that right there made this whole week worth it. My baby believes in me as much as I believe in him. What more do I need?


(It's a cellphone video, but look at the boy try to dance on wheels!)

Another Train Down...

We did one holiday train display right after Thanksgiving, and did our second one today. Only one more train display to go!

This guy has this entire train display in his front yard with multilevel tracks, tons of "scenes", and it's free. Most people mosey away happy after a few minutes, but us? We (along with some friends of ours) are there for at least 30 minutes
(would be longer if it were up to all of our boys), and the boys do not hide their enthusiasm.

Bubba was a little upset that the Coca-Cola train with the polar bears wasn't running today (apparently the owner had to simplify because he was having some medical tests done and had to have a friend help with the train system) but Mooser was ecstatic that the trolley was on the line. Since this was our third year doing this, I managed to grab a business card so that we can send the gentleman a card with a donation.

FYI, for local folks.

Happy Birthday Moosie

Momma is sick today and Daddy is working until 9PM, so we should be very sad that today will not be a birthday extravaganza. But we don't have to worry, because you opened your presents this morning and you were excited about the toolbox (um, that we found downstairs) filled with a sink plunger and a level and a plastic scraper (um, yeah all from downstairs).





We gave you books and a calendar and a wii accessory box, and you were as happy as happy could be. You were opening presents with Bubba and Mommy and Daddy, and that was "extravaganza" enough for you.



Thank you for bringing that into our lives. Thank you for being in our lives. We love you.

I still can't believe you are FIVE. Five! I love you baby.

Autism Night Before Christmas

After attending one of many family Christmas parties on Sunday, I thought the below appropriate to share. Bubba was overly excited, his one red ear glowing with Christmas cheer, sharing his Christmas ham with another kid's face. Moosie was like his momma and his lip quivered every time he was forced to enter the big room full of people. Ugh. People.


Boys in a "safe zone" with their cousin



Me in the corner



Boys doing their "Christmas poses"




I don't see eye to eye with everything alluded to in this poem, but there are quite a few lines that resonate with this here family with two boys diagnosed with autism spectrum disorders. 'Tis true that my boys bring me great joy, but it's simply because they are wonderful exactly how they are (it's how the rest of word sees them that causes a stir).

Autism Night Before Christmas
by Cindy Waeltermann
AutismLink
(I couldn't get the original site to open up to link to the poem, so I am posting here for now.)

Twas the Night Before Christmas
And all through the house
The creatures were stirring
Yes, even the mouse

We tried melatonin
And gave a hot bath
But the holiday jitters
They always distract

The children were finally
All nestled in bed
When nightmares of terror
Ran through my OWN head

Did I get the right gift
The right color
And style
Would there be a tantrum
Or even, maybe, a smile?

Our relatives come
But they don't understand
The pleasure he gets
Just from flapping his hands.

"He needs discipline," they say
"Just a well-needed smack,
You must learn to parent..."
And on goes the attack

We smile and nod
Because we know deep inside
The argument is moot
Let them all take a side

We know what it's like
To live with the spectrum
The struggles and triumphs
Achievements, regressions...

But what they don't know
And what they don't see
Is the joy that we feel
Over simplicity

He said "hello"
He ate something green!
He told his first lie!
He did not cause a scene!

He peed on the potty
Who cares if he's ten,
He stopped saying the same thing
Again and again!

Others don't realize
Just how we can cope
How we bravely hang on
At the end of our rope

But what they don't see
Is the joy we can't hide
When our children with autism
Make the tiniest stride

We may look at others
Without the problems we face
With jealousy, hatred
Or even distaste,

But what they don't know
Nor sometimes do we
Is that children with autism
Bring simplicity.

We don't get excited
Over expensive things
We jump for joy
With the progress work brings

Children with autism
Try hard every day
That they make us proud
More than words can say.

They work even harder
Than you or I
To achieve something small
To reach a star in the sky

So to those who don't get it
Or can't get a clue
Take a walk in my shoes
And I'll assure you

That even 10 minutes
Into the walk
You'll look at me
With respect, even shock.

You will realize
What it is I go through
And the next time you judge
I can assure you

That you won't say a thing
You'll be quiet and learn,
Like the years that I did
When the tables were turned.......

Practice Christmas

One of my favorite Christmas traditions that I started with my boys is "Practice Christmas." (If you've only missed one year, it can still be a tradition, right?) A few days before Christmas we satisfy our impatient giving and receiving curiosities and we wrap and deliver one small present for each person in the family.

We then go over gift-giving and gift receiving etiquette, because well, this is fun and when I go over the rules on the way to people's houses, the boys know what the hell I am talking about.

After we go through the rules, we act out the scenarios and talk about them. Some years it helps, some years it doesn't. In any case, it's fun to open a present early. And the boys are excited. The rule part of the tradition ends when it becomes tedious and pointless, but I think we will always do an early gift as long as I can get away with it.

Gift-Giving Etiquette:

1) Look at the name tag. (Shit, I forgot this step this year!)
2) Softly hand the present to the person.
3) Let them open the present--do not rip the paper for them.
4) Take two steps back. (After our practice Christmas, I have determined this will be the most difficult for them, so be prepared to get laughing-spit on your face and your feet smooshed by some serious happy-dancing. I have determined this to be the best part for me because I am thrilled to see them so damn excited about someone else besides them getting a gift. So deal with the spittle and the bruised toes.)

Gift-Receiving Etiquette:

1) Wait with you hands in your lap. (Note that I don't care what their feet are doing!)
2) Do not open a present until Mommy and/or Daddy say you can.
3) Look at the name tag. (Shit, I forgot this step this year!)
4) Open the present (no restrictions on that one!).
a) If you do not like the present or you do not know what it is, say "thank you" and set the present down softly. Mommy and daddy will help you. You do not have to lie and say you like the present. Do not say "Thank you. I am not lying. I don't like your present."
b) If you like the present, say "thank you." Do not say "I like your present so much better than so-and-sos."
5) When the crazy people want to take your picture holding a present, do your typical "Christmas Picture" pose. (That is, Bubba looks like a monkey and Mooser looks drunk or is moving.)
6) Do not look around like greedy, disappointed children and ask "Where are the rest of the presents?"
7) Help throw away the paper before you open any boxes (and lose half of the pieces).
8) Give all of the crazy people with the big eye balls and cameras hugs and smile. (OK this one, for the most part I let them choose. I hate when people make the kids be physically affectionate because I hate it myself. I'll mention it, but I usually don't force it unless I think it means we can get the hell outta there faster.)

You may ask why so many "rules"? It's more important to me to set Bubba and Moose up for a pleasant Christmas and good reactions from all the crazy people staring at them as opposed to waiting for them to screw up and then teach 'em what to do (and have all the crazy people telling them how to behave).

Clues for Stimey

To further help the brainstorming process, these are places that would make sense to have "borrowed crap". But there is no room or really any sense to the madness.




This is the very ill-planned laundry room wedged in-between the garage door and kitchen. The washer and dryer are not in the picture, but there is no space by them. You can tell we utilize this space so well by the crap that is thrown in the narrow opening. To the left is the door to the garage, to the right is the door to the kitchen. The kitchen door opens onto the stairs that go to the basement (yeah, that's really safe, huh?).



And here is my bakers rack, the collector of all things important. The baskets (labeled by Mooser) hold 1) all of the boys' paperwork from school and 2) all of the paid bills and official mommy/daddy documents until all of it can be filed away. I know for a fact that each basket can hold a years' worth of stuff. The metal inbox is for all stuff requiring action, like bills. Doesn't it all look so clean and tidy?

To the right is the paper shredder that doesn't work. To the left is the basket that contains magazines and such. Underneath are containers that function as my "junk drawer". In fact, most of the little containers all over the bakers rack contain crap that I can't get rid of but don't know what to do with. And that little box on the main shelf.... yeah those are Christmas cards that I haven't touched.

Annual Fake Gingerbread Construction

Every holiday season, we do something with icing. Every 6 months after that, I scrape icing off of the floor and table and try to eradicate pulverized graham crackers and mashed jelly beans from the carpet.

We were all in a half-ass mood this year, but we still had fun eating the icing and candy. Mmmmmmmmm.... nothing's better than icing on graham crackers.

Seeing Things

I watched a horror show once when I was a child where blood came out of the shower head. And then later I heard a story of a woman who had spiders come out of her shower head (and I actually did have one fall out of our air vent once while I was in the bathroom, so that didn't help). So anyhow, since I refuse to close my eyes when showering and I try very hard not to think about anything either, I am forced to stare at the shower walls.

After seeing the letter A on my husband's head, I thought I'd share my "shower stall visions."

Cat and mouse (sorry about the glare)



Jesus? Or maybe his cousin?



Old man winter



The naughty wall



The water pitcher



Nude torso



There are lots more, but these are the ones that really stand out to me. Don't you wish you could be inside my brain? I told you I was crazy.

A Marked Man

Hubby was looking at something in our bedroom--and I saw it--a letter on his head!

Oh my gosh, you have the letter A on your head!

Huh, I do not!

Um, yeah, you do so!

So I corralled the boys and asked them what letter they saw on daddy's head. They both thought it was either an H or an A. I took a picture with my cellphone and showed Hubby because he did not believe us. He believes us now--so much so he seems kind of scared.

The scarlet letter? Grade A? My initial?

Well, whatever, he is a marked man. Too bad it wasn't Jesus or Mary that appeared on his head, then we could sell it on ebay.

(You may have to enlarge the picture or step back from your monitor to really see it.)

It's the most wonderful time of the year, Bells are ringing, Children are screaming...

Last Friday, me and the boys went to ring the bell for the Salvation Army at a local grocery store. It was cold. Damn cold. I tried to explain why we were ringing the bell. I tried to explain the idea of collecting donations, what the donations were for, and our responsibility to do community service. I tried to explain that there are people who need help and people who may be not have a place to live or food to eat. I tried to relate it to our experiences and why we can't just take, but we also must give.

Well, I failed miserably. After 10 minutes the boys wanted to collect donations for themselves because they were cold and they were hungry. To them, it made perfect sense. How many times does mommy say "No, we can't buy that because I don't have any money."

So yesterday we were signed up to ring the bell again. Since the first time didn't go so well and I spent most of my time trying to keep the boys from playing with the automatic doors and running out into the parking lot, I decided to do what any self-respecting mother trying to teach her kids about civic responsibility in the freezing cold would do-- I bribed them.

So I told them if they said "Merry Christmas" to 100 people, they would get a prize. So they both rang the bell, said "Merry Christmas," and every so often remembered to say "Thank You!" when people donated. Of course every minute Mooser asked "We done yet? Getta pwizha?" and Bubba was more interested in trying to direct cart traffic or figuring out how the bell made a ringing sound more than anything else.




I am sure I have corrupted them in some irreversible way, but they made a lot of people smile. And they encouraged a lot of people to donate. And we lasted for the full 30 minutes without incident, which in itself is a Christmas miracle.

Cold Winter Days and Nights

What do you do on cold winter days and nights?

We do puzzles. Play games. Watch movies. Make Lego guys (virtual and otherwise). We work (grudgingly).







We walk on old railroad tracks. Watch parades. Decorate. Watch the cat torture a cute brown mouse (and then set it free because we can't bare to watch her kill it).












We see Santa (several times at several places). We ring bells for the Salvation Army. We freeze our asses off.







(Yes I realize my son is wearing cowboy boots with sweatpants. And that is a reindeer!)

And my favorite thing to do? We rock out (country style)!



(Beware of my Yee Haw towards the end. A little embarrassing maybe, but worth that smile I get. Sorry for the cell phone quality--it's one of the few ways I can get videos/pictures of my kids without them knowing.)

What kitties are for

This is what kitties are for...making sick little boys feel better.