P-L-E-A-S-E!!!!!

Moosie has a nice obsession with trains, specifically Thomas the Train trains. We went to the library the other day, and for once darn it, that little store they have there was actually open.

It took about 2 blinks for Moosie to spot a train display and beeline his way into the store. He then proceeded to jump up and down screaming "EEEEEEEEEEE!!!" and alternating frantically rubbing his chest with pointing at the glorious train.

Now, I knew that Moosie was saying in sign language "Please mommy. Please?!? Pretty please. Please dammit I'm saying please. Buy me the train mommy. Can't you see that I'm saying please?!?!?!?!"

I gathered from the look on the cashier's face that she thought quite possibly Moosie was having a heart attack.

I distracted Moosie with some nonsense long enough to get him out of the store, but not without a silent acceptance of the fact that my sweet little boy has finally reached that all-dreaded developmental milestone--he is now a toy consumer.

Now I have two children who will seek out toys at every giving location and do what they feel is necessary to gain ownership of said toys. Great.

Politics

I have read Missouri's proposed Amendment 3 numerous times. The only thing I have issues with is the ambiguity, but when I thought about it (a lot), really, aren't most laws ambiguous? Can't most laws be interpreted in various ways? Isn't that why regulations are later developed to further define the law and courts are needed to make decisions on how the law should be upheld?

I've been tired of people who haven't even read the amendment, but defending their yes or no with a vengeance when their opinion appears based only on what they were told or by what they saw in commercials. ("I think this based on what so and so said.")

I also have a little spite in me, and I feel like a lot of opposers are mostly against the same debate with abortion as far as what constitutes life. I do not take issue with the fertilization and use of that product for stem cell research, especially with the 14 day limit. In any case, I think that seems to be the hidden issue with the church, but the cloning and such is a way to get more people on board to vote no. Then again, the other side of the fence is pushing the cure agenda, when I'm sure there's a lot of other scientist junk that can happen that has nothing to do with "cures."

I've weighed it heavily and I'm pretty sure I will be voting yes for # 2.

I thought I would vote yes for #3 (the cigarette tax), but I wonder about the message in that. If they are going to tax cigarettes, they should tax fast food to help pay for obesity healthcare issues in this country!

And why tax the consumers anyhow? Tax the corporations who pump the crap into society. And give relief to companies producing "good-for-you" organic stuff. Then maybe they'll lower the prices so I can afford to buy food that won't kill me.

Grilled chicken on whole wheat: over $3, Big Mac: $1. That's just wrong.

Ugh. How come I turn everything into food?

Show me the money

As I sit here wondering how our checking account balance is already at a big ol' goose egg, I wonder what we should stop doing. Get rid of cable? We'll we only pay $17 for that. We can't get rid of our internet access because I need that to freelance. We could buy cheaper food, but then we can't eat healthy, another priority!

Hubby is addicted to Netflix, which is another $19. Our cell phones are currently free, so they're fine. I really don't want to move. We live in a modest neighborhood, in a ranch that's 20 years old. I don't love our house, but we've developed supports in the community, relationships with the schools and teachers, etc. So what do you do?

And then I think, we could stop paying for Bubba and Moosie's therapies or sensory stuff. Now we can cetainly cut back, but if there is clear benefit, would we be doing them a disservice? If the insurance company would just reimburse us for the 80% they owe us for the past 5 months instead of playing games, I guess we wouldn't be as broke. (Thank you United Healthcare for the paper, postage, and time you have wasted.)

There isn't really a magic answer I guess, which I was reminded by an article I stumbled across today while procrastinating from balancing our checking account. The article states, "Sometimes the answer is to learn to live better on the money you have." My head hurt instantly. The statement could neither be more true or more difficult to swallow.

This is what I do

I wonder why the hours go by so fast and why my house is such a disaster. Right now I have about 15 million projects going. Today Hubby is off of work, so I'm supposed to be utilizing the time to work on a monster work project (past due).

So far today, instead of working:

• I've participated in Moosie's speech therapy
• I've photocopied the signs for all of the colors and taped them to the back of flashcards so that I don't have to keep looking up the signs when me and Moosie are playing "learning colors" games
• I've called the neurologist to have them fax Moosie's diagnosis and prescription for Bubba to have behavior therapy to me
• I've faxed the information to the boys' case manager
• I've called the case manger to see if I can get the early intervention program to pay for a session of social play incorporated with occupational therapy and speech therapy for Moosie since his developmental evaluation states that he has a moderate to severe social-emotional delay. (The state program assists with 1:1 in home therapy, but that doesn't help so much with social delays, which is frustrating to get across to them!)
• I've called the therapists providing the social session to make sure there is room for Moosie
• I called the therapists back to see if they would consider starting a therapy equipment / resource library. Those of us with children with disabilities purchase and make lots of things to assist our children and when we are done with them, it would be great to have a central place to donate them for other parents to borrow.
• I started gathering information I want to discuss with the meeting I have with a senator on Friday morning
• I've contemplated working on the grant to assist us with making a "safe/sensory room" for Bubba during his explosions and for both boys to do activities to help with sensory needs...

But the grant will have to wait until later. I need to get to work now. *pout*

Happy Anniversary

Today is our wedding anniversary. Hubby and I have been married for 9 years. We've experienced the typical ups and downs and the not-so-typical ups and downs. Either because of that or in spite of it, I still feel safest, warmest, and most myself in my husband's arms.

Hubby is off today, so he'll watch Moosie while I work. And then tonight he goes to class. So there will be no trite romantic celebration today. But already this morning I mixed up my words and said something goofy, and Hubby laughed with that crooked smile that made my eyes smile back just so (as I've been told)....and that's all the celebration we need.

I love you Hubby! As always... all my love, all my life.

Duker the Puker

Mondays

Bubba went back to school today. Thank goodness cycle break is over. I know I will miss Bubba terribly, but I also know that 3:30 will be here before I complete half of what I'm supposed to do today.

I thought all signs were pointing to an OK day...I wasn't tired when I woke my sorry ass up at 5:15 this morning to do some work. Moosie and Bubba slept the whole night in their own beds and Bubba woke up at 7:20 without a huge fight. (Well unless you count the one mini outburst when he yelled from under the covers: "I am NOT waking up!!!") He ate breakfast, got dressed, did the whole deal without much complaint. (I'm pretty sure he was too tired to remember that the night before he was adamant about not returning to school.)

Then the bus honked 10 minutes early and, as if on cue, the dog walked over from the kitchen and decided to puke his entire breakfast on the new carpet.

I love Mondays.

What goes up must come down

I just can't escape the male anatomy. This morning, we were up very early to go to the Walk for Autism Research event downtown. I dressed Bubba and Moosie in their sleep and then woke up hubby. After much prompting, we finally got Bubba to go to the bathroom, but it wasn't long before we heard shrieking...

"Mom, I don't liiiike my penis up. I don't want to go anywhere with my penis up. Moooooom!!!!"
As I tried to calm him down and gingerly helped him get his underwear back on, he continued to scream and bat at himself, apparently thinking he could beat it down if the damn thing wouldn't listen to his obnoxious screaming.

Trying to further calm him down, I stated, "Bubba, this happens to all boys, even daddy."

That just confused him. "But why?!?!?!" he moaned with a twisted up face.

Daddy took the less complicated approach, "It keeps you from peeing in your bed."

OK, apparently this is true. I confirmed with another male friend at the walk. I'm married and naive. I always thought it was for other reasons. *shrug*

Whatever the reason, I now need to go scrub pee off of the ceiling. The joys of being the mother of boys.

I need a penis

This is the 3rd cycle break that I have been home fulltime with the boys. I don't have time to pee by myself without fear that either a) Moosie will coat himself with peanut butter and roll around on the new carpeting, b) that Bubba will decide he needs something from outside and disappear without a trace, or c) Duke (the dog) will chew up the last of my coveted bras and underwear.

Actually all of that could happen in the time it takes me to walk to the bathroom. Lord knows what would happen if I actually shut the door to the bathroom, sit down to pee, wipe myself, and then wash and dry my hands. Now that I think about it, shouldn't women have the penises? Because obviously it was never intended for moms to sit down to pee.

Big boys

Despite the fact that this cycle break truly has been "psycho break" (Note to self: NEVER EVER EVER decide to repaint or refloor or redecorate during cycle break. NOT a good idea!), some amazing things have been happening.

One of the GOOD things that comes out of cycle breaks is Bubba and Moosie's sibling relationship. Bubba is actually developing empathy for the Mooser. Moose falls down, Bubba is right there and asks him if he is OK, and tries to help him up. And oddly enough, Bubba isn't pushing him down, hitting him, or anything else really impulsive anymore. (I think the dog gets that now. *sigh*)

Bubba ia also becoming a caretaker. The other night Bubba went into the kitchen and fixed himself a bowl of cereal, which is in itself a big deal to us. He moved the chair, got down the cereal, got down a bowl, got out the milk, and poured the milk without spilling it. Then typical Mooser sprung to action following him around pointing at his own chest squealing "eeeeee! eeeee! EEEEEEEEE!" Or in other words, "Me! Me! ME! I want some too! I want whatever you want big brother!"

Bubba, in a sweet voice, asked Moosie if he wanted cereal too, and when Moosie screamed "YEOH!!!!" (he's been crossing his yeahs and nos lately) , he proceeded to make Moosie some cereal too. And he put all of the stuff away too!

Bubba told Moosie they had to sit at the table, and Moosie ate his cereal just like Bubba, down to the last tip of the bowl and slurp of the milk.

My big boys.

Another Bubba-ism?

Bubba came in this morning after a brief romp outside, and began playing with the dog doing some freaky mock boxing dancing thing. As I'm wiping down the kitchen counter I hear Bubba's growling voice utter:

"mumble mumble...sting like a beeeeeeee-ver [beaver]."

He said it three times, obviously having no clue what the first part of the saying is and thinking he knew the second part. Where on earth did he hear "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee?" Maybe he heard the beaver variation from a movie? Who knows.