Thursday, April 5, 2007

I'm Tired

So I finally finished the big project I have been working on since mid2006. In the past 2 weeks I worked over 45 hours, some of which was done while I was attending an autism conference. 45 hours is a far cry from the 10 hours a week I was planning on working once we decided I should stay home and focus on life. "The best laid plans of mice and men will often go awry" is pretty much my life story.

In any case, my house, my person, my children, and my husband all show signs of neglect. We have eaten fastfood more times than I can count because my kitchen is a mess. I cannot cook when my kitchen is a mess. I just can't. And the boys have been left to their own devices way more than I'd like to admit, because I have such difficulty switching between "work-life brain" and "home-life brain." So when I have 15 minutes when I am not working, I can't switch gears, I just waste time until I can work again (or vice verse with home-related things).

I am slowly pulling myself out of the trenches to go clean my house, sift through paperwork, start exercising, go to the grocery store, get that blood test I was supposed to get done last get the idea.....I'm in a little bit of a funk because we had an evaluation meeting for Bubba today. Nothing earth shattering--his receptive is lower than his expressive language; he has difficulty with directions; he is socially awkward with peers, but not with adults; he has attention issues, etc. Then you have "he is just like any other 1st grader" but then "he needs supports to help him in [this] area in order to be successful." The teachers latch on to "just another 1st grader" and I latch on to "he needs support."

I'm just so tired with all of this. When Bubba was 2 we heard over and over again "he's 2, temper tantrums are normal." Then when he was 5 and magically didn't stop throwing temper tantrums, all of a sudden his explosive behavior was a problem. I just foresee the same thing happening with social issues and receptive language. "He's in 1st grade. ALL first graders do this." Then all of a sudden he's in 4th grade or 5th grade, and it's not OK...

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