Touchy Subject

So the same day I wrote this post, Bubba got a "Behavior Warning" sent home for not being able to keep his hands to himself. Apparently it is the second time this week, which I think is actually great for him!

He used to have a 1:1 paraprofessional [classroom aide], but he was getting so dependant, we were pulling back in all areas where he could be successfully independent. We've also implemented the Stickids program (it took me years to get the school to recognize that "self-regulation" is a sensory issue, that just because he doesn't scream when there's a noise or isn't tactile defensive doesn't mean he doesn't have sensory integration issues). I was hoping having playdoh to manipulate, heavy lifting, etc. would reduce the issues at school. He's already on medication. Again, I just don't know what the right thing to do is.

[Bubba] pinched another student during content. This is the second time he has not kept his hands to himself this week. [We] talked w/ him last week when he was lightly poking a student. This went beyond a light poke. -- Regular classroom teacher

All I can do is shake my head. I do not think my child is above discipline; A child like mine with impulse control issues and attention issues has a hard enough time keeping his hands to himself much less think it through whether or not it is a poke or a pinch and which would have a more severe punishment. Idunno. We did our duty and talked to him about it and he just looked confused:

"But I won't pinch!"

"But you pinched your friends at school today."

"But I'm not pinching!"

Yes, we just talked to him. Later we will do some role playing. Punishing him for something that happened at school is of no benefit to him. He makes no connection. He doesn't learn not to do it next time. It's like kicking a dog when you found something they tore up 3 days earlier. All the dog knows is that you kicked it. [I do not kick dogs. Nor do I think my son is a dog. I'm just illustrating the stupidity of the situation].

I'm just tired. I know he needs guidance on what to do when he has the urge for his hands to jut out, he wants a peer's attention, or whatever other function the 'hands-on' behavior is serving. We've worked on it for years. Bubba has matured, he's figuring it out, it just takes him longer.