Thursday, January 10, 2008

Looking for a cure?

Parents of children with disabilities, if you had the child that you "dream of," whatever child you are searching for or trying to pull out of his shell or cure or "get back". If you had that child up until this point, but suddenly that child was involved in an accident and recovered to be the child you know now, the child with all of his challenges, quirks, blessings, disabilities, health issues, etc.

If there was no idea of a "cure" or a "preventable cause" what would you do differently?

It took me six years to get here, but I would change nothing. I would still struggle with when to intervene and when not to. I would still struggle with when to accommodate and modify and when to push just a little harder. I would still struggle with the unclear, unpredictable future. As I do now, I would spend energy on helping and adapting and less on "fixing." I'm sure I would play the "accident" in my head over and over again and wonder how I could prevent it, and then realize that I can't go back and my energy is best used elsewhere. These are things I had to learn through experience. I don't know what my answer to this question would've been years ago? Maybe I would be overwhelmed with pity and shame, the things I so despise now?

How about you?


Stimey said...

I didn't see what you had read, but this is a great post.

Ange said...

Whoops. This was one of those "stuck in draft" posts (I have too many of those), and I have begun adding labels to my posts and published this one without finishing it. Now I forgot exactly what I was reading (so I deleted the link), but I'm thinking it had to do with the Karen McCarron murder trial.

autismfamily said...

Interesting question, but I have never looked for a cure. Both my sons are on opposite ends of the spectrum. This June it will be ten years since the first dx.

Ange said...

while I was enver looking for a cure, for a little while my emphasis was on "fixing." I felt I wasn't doing enough and then I realized what I reallys hould be doing. I'm hoping people like Karen McCarron realize perfection doesn't exist, and our children should be loved, not wished to be something other than what is right in front of us right now.