Monday, January 21, 2008

How Come

How come if I would've done invasive and scientifically unproven "treatments" like chelation the minute Moosie was diagnosed with autism, people would say--now that he's communicating in 4-5 word utterances--"Hallelujah! He's cured!" But because I didn't do anything whacko, but rather therapy specific to his needs (and not hours of it), pushed for him to NOT be in a nonverbal classroom, accommodated him as needed, and played with him, read to him, went to parks and playgrounds etc. and offered him a little boy's life--since he is doing so well--people say he definitely doesn't have autism and never did.

How come the people who told me that Moosie was like any other 2 year old (and then 3 year old) and didn't need therapy are now telling me that his progress "is amazing" now that he is 4 years old? (Of course these are the same people that tell him he needs to keep his feet still when he is doing his happy dance.)

How come people force you to analyze and point out your child's weaknesses and deficits just so you can get him the assistance and understanding he needs to succeed?

How come I care? Because people won't give Moosie modifications/accommodations as he grows and develops at his own pace (e.g., let him chew on gum or hold an object while in circle time or not be potty trained at 4) unless there is a reason. Otherwise it is the child being obstinate or manipulating, or more likely it's just bad parenting.

But luckily, when the lights are low, and sleepy eyes call to me for nite nite kisses, I see a warm snuggled body full of hope, love, trust, faith, and happiness that reminds me that even when the world sends me mixed messages, I'm on the right path.


Pegster said...

F#*@ em.

Kelley said...

Babe, just want you to know that I know how you feel. And one day I will blog about it. Spew forth my venom.
But tonight I am in my happy place and don't want to visit that sad and angry place right now.

So I will just say. I hear you. I know you more than you realise. And you me. All of us with these little angels do.

kristen said...

I am with you 100%. I feel the same way. People act like those Jenny McCarthy moms are miracle healers for their kids. Even call them "warrior moms". I get it that they were brave for trying new treatments, blah, blah. But what about those of us who followed the traditional educational interventions? We have had a long battle with all of this too. And its not like we are looking for a medal or something, but to say that our child never had autism or that they just out-grew it just annoys me. It's like it takes away from it all. Because, yes, I am proud of us moms who are helping our kids, but I am proud of the kids too. I just think we need to be given a little bit of credit. After all, we get to feel the guilt when things are not going least we should get to take credit for the successes a little bit :o)

Casdok said...

I think Kristen said it all!

Robin said...

I think anything that separates us moms and keeps us from supporting one another makes me sad.

Niksmom said...

Yeah, what Kristen said...waaaay more eloquently than I could right now!